EPISODE 19: PARENTING

What Happy Kids? Stop Asking This Question!

Oct 16, 2025

Are we asking our kids the wrong questions?

In this parenting mindset episode, Anya reveals the truth about how one simple shift in the questions we ask can nurture happier, more confident children.
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Discover how embracing today—not chasing someday—can transform your parenting, homeschooling, and family connection.

Why are we rushing kids to plan a future they can’t even picture?

In this episode, you’ll learn what neuroscience says about decision-making in teens, why your toddler’s messy curiosity matters more than a five-year plan, and how present-moment parenting creates space for confidence, joy, and authentic growth.

So, if you’ve ever questioned the pressure to “prepare your child for the world,” this episode is your permission slip to slow down and reconnect.

For Full Experience 

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Click play to watch on YouTube.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why asking “What do you want to be when you grow up?” might be the wrong question— and how shifting your focus to who your child is today creates a deeper connection and joy.

  • What neuroscience says about your child’s brain development— including why the prefrontal cortex isn’t ready for big life decisions (and what that means for teens and toddlers).

  • How to release the pressure of “preparing” and embrace the power of presence— so you can nurture confident, happy kids without rushing their becoming.

The Day A Teacher Asked the Big Question

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Around me, little voices called out answers like “doctor” and “astronaut,” rehearsed dreams borrowed from picture books and parents.

But in that moment, all I could think about was recess, sunshine, and the thrill of just being—right here, right now.

So I answered, “Happy.”

The teacher blinked, a little confused, and said, “I don’t think you understood the assignment.”


But deep down, even at seven, part of me wondered if maybe she didn’t understand life.

Listen On ...

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 LISTENER PRAISE

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"Such an easy, inspiring listen—uplifting tips, practical advice, and so relatable that you feel truly connected."

5 Takeaways From This Episode

1️⃣ Presence Over Pressure

A child’s worth isn’t in who they’ll become, but in who they already are today. Start there.

2️⃣ Brains Need Time

The prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. Expecting kids or even teens to choose their future is like asking a seed to bloom on demand.

3️⃣ Questions Shape Identity

“What do you want to be?” focuses on doing. Try asking, “Who are you becoming?” instead—it invites connection and self-trust.

 4️⃣ Today Builds Tomorrow

Joyful, curious moments now are the real prep for the future. Recess matters. So do questions about bugs and block towers.

5️⃣ You’re Becoming Too

This journey isn’t just about raising kids—it’s about raising ourselves into more present, grounded, grace-filled humans.

Why Listeners Keep Tuning In

Love this! Thank you for this episode Anya! l appreciate the tips for how to encourage creativity. I love the idea of using hands-on learning and experimentation, imagination, senses, asking open-ended questions, observing, offering freedom in choices, having them practice, problem-solve, and letting them fail!

Kayla Linares

Exactly What Homeschooling
Parents Need! This podcast is a breath of fresh air! Anya's passion is contagious. If you're looking for clarity, confidence, and connection in your homeschooling journey-this is the podcast for you!

Anastasia Larsson

Wow, this is amazing! I loved hearing this — it’s so true. Creativity really does get snuffed out as we grow older unless we actively work to preserve, protect, nourish, and let it flourish.

Melanie Beers-Quinn

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe to the Anya Garcia Show and leave a review on Apple Podcast! Your support helps us reach more parents like you who need these insights. 

Here’s how: Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Tell me what resonated most—I love hearing your biggest takeaways!

Thanks for tuning in and I will see you next week!

RESEARCH & SOURCES MENTIONED

Giedd, J. N. (2015). The teen brain: Insights from neuroimaging. Journal of Adolescent Health, 52(2), S2–S6.

Gati, I., Gadassi, R., & Shemesh, N. (2023). Career decision-making difficulties among adolescents: A multi-dimensional analysis. Frontiers in Education, 8, Article 1097993.

BestColleges. (2023). Students feel pressure to decide their future too early. 

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.). Brain architecture. Harvard University.

Montessori, M. (1967). The Absorbent Mind (C. A. Claremont, Trans.). Holt, Rinehart and Winston. (Original work published 1949)

Garcia, A. (2023, October 17). Redefining what you want to be. Montessori From The Heart.

Garcia, A. (2024, October 18). What if "Who do you want to be?" isn’t the right question? Let’s focus on today. Montessori From The Heart.

Meet Anya

Winner of the 2025 Global Women Changing the World in Education Award and named the #1 Key Early Learning Influencer in North America, Anya Garcia helps you parent with purpose and live with intention.


After walking away from a high-powered legal career, she entered her true calling—shining the light on the early years, a period rich with potential, transformation, and often-overlooked power.

Blending neuroscience, evolutionary insight, and practical strategies, Anya helps children thrive and adults evolve. You will find mindset-shifting tools and science-backed insights to inspire lasting change. 

This Show is where mindset meets motherhood, education meets empowerment, and transformation begins now—one child, one parent at a time.

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