EPISODE 21: EARLY YEARS

STOP Saying “Good Job!” Why Praise Can Hurt Your Child’s Confidence

Oct 23, 2025

For years, research has shown that the way we praise our children shapes how they perceive themselves — and it can make or break their self-confidence.
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Empty praise can limit a child’s growth mindset, while small shifts in our words can help them build confidence that truly lasts.

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As Montessori educator Mark W. Berger reminds us, children don’t need our approval — they need the space to discover their own mastery.

In this episode, you’ll learn what really happens in a child’s mind when they’re praised for effort instead of results, and hear real examples of what to say instead to nurture independence and pride.

Discover how shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset changes the way you praise — and how it can transform your child’s confidence from the inside out.

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 LISTENER PRAISE

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"Such an easy, inspiring listen—uplifting tips, practical advice, and so relatable that you feel truly connected."

Discover why praise can actually harm your child’s confidence—and how Montessori parenting builds true independence and a growth mindset.

5 Takeaways From This Episode

1️⃣ Praise Isn’t Always Helpful

Saying “Good job!” shifts focus from a child’s effort to our approval, teaching them to seek validation instead of self-motivation.

2️⃣ Confidence Comes From Competence

Real confidence is built when children experience mastery through doing, not from constant praise or applause.

3️⃣ Brain Rewards Progress, Not Praise

Dopamine spikes when kids overcome challenges—not when they’re told they did well.

 4️⃣ Montessori Wisdom Matters

As Mark W. Berger reminds us, children don’t need more praise—they need more practice, space, and trust to discover their own mastery.

5️⃣ Shift Your Words, Shift Their Mindset

Replace “Good job!” with phrases that notice effort and independence—like “You kept trying!” or “You did it all by yourself.”

Why Listeners Keep Tuning In

Love this! Thank you for this episode Anya! l appreciate the tips for how to encourage creativity. I love the idea of using hands-on learning and experimentation, imagination, senses, asking open-ended questions, observing, offering freedom in choices, having them practice, problem-solve, and letting them fail!

Kayla Linares

Exactly What Homeschooling
Parents Need! This podcast is a breath of fresh air! Anya's passion is contagious. If you're looking for clarity, confidence, and connection in your homeschooling journey-this is the podcast for you!

Anastasia Larsson

Wow, this is amazing! I loved hearing this — it’s so true. Creativity really does get snuffed out as we grow older unless we actively work to preserve, protect, nourish, and let it flourish.

Melanie Beers-Quinn

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe to the Anya Garcia Show and leave a review on Apple Podcast! Your support helps us reach more parents like you who need these insights. 

Here’s how: Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Tell me what resonated most—I love hearing your biggest takeaways!

Thanks for tuning in and I will see you next week!

RESEARCH & SOURCES MENTIONED

🔥 Join Tantrum Tamer Workshop 

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.

Berger, M. W. – Montessori Educator Insights on Intrinsic Motivation and Mastery.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. Springer.

Montessori, M. (1967). The Absorbent Mind. Holt, Rinehart, and Winston.

Neuroscience of Motivation: Dopamine and Reward Pathways – National Institutes of Health (NIH).

American Psychological Association (APA). “The Effects of Praise on Children’s Motivation and Mindset.”

Meet Anya

Winner of the 2025 Global Women Changing the World in Education Award and named the #1 Key Early Learning Influencer in North America, Anya Garcia helps you parent with purpose and live with intention.


After walking away from a high-powered legal career, she entered her true calling—shining the light on the early years, a period rich with potential, transformation, and often-overlooked power.

Blending neuroscience, evolutionary insight, and practical strategies, Anya helps children thrive and adults evolve. You will find mindset-shifting tools and science-backed insights to inspire lasting change. 

This Show is where mindset meets motherhood, education meets empowerment, and transformation begins now—one child, one parent at a time.

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